Zombie News Flash: Interview with Tina

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by Nancy Holzner
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Interview with Tina by Nancy Holzner
In celebration of Boston’s upcoming Paranormal Appreciation day, I’m talking to Tina Zawadzki, an 18-year-old zombie who lives in Deadtown, as part of the Paranormal News Network’s "Conversations with the Previously Deceased" series.

NH: When people think of zombies, they tend to think of the horror-movie kind. But you’re not like that. Can you explain the difference between Deadtown’s zombies and the usual stereotype?

Tina: Yeah, you know, I can’t even watch horror movies anymore. I look at the zombies and they’re, like, so wrong. I think, “Wow. That’s what people think I am.”

Okay, so we look kinda like those zombies. We’ve got gray-green skin—it’s really hard to find the right shade of foundation now—and our eyes are all bloodshot and there might be a little bit of rotting going on here and there.

Oh, and we’re really hungry all the time. But we can think and talk and we’re not just staggering around all the time going, “Braaaaains! Braaaaains!” That’s so stupid. I mean, eating brains would be, like, totally disgusting.

Yeah, I get hungry, but I scarf down potato chips or donuts or pizza or whatever. As much as I want, and I don’t gain an ounce. It’s the only thing that doesn’t suck about being reanimated.

When the plague hit, everybody thought we were dead. That lasted for three days before we rose again. Some scientist guy told me that we weren’t really dead during those three days, just in suspended animation or something, but whatever. We were just like dead.

And then we came back to life, but we were different. Stronger, stiffer, more awake at night, and (like I said) hungry. Vicky’s boyfriend Kane and the TV news stations and whatever use “previously deceased humans” to be politically correct. But really, we’re zombies. I mean, what else would you call people who were dead and came back to life?

NH: How did you get caught in the plague? What did it feel like? And what did it feel like to come back changed? Please say a little about your experiences.

Tina: Me and Jenna skipped school that day to go shopping. There was this dance coming up—we were sophomores in high school and it was a big deal—and Joey Tomasino had asked me if I was going, and I wanted to look, you know, hot. So we cut classes and headed into Boston to look for a dress.

We went to Downtown Crossing, and we were just walking along. I remember some businessman in front of me suddenly fell over. Like, just fell on his face, with his arm out to the side, still holding his briefcase. Then my legs felt all watery and everything went black.

When I woke up, my first thought was, “My parents are gonna kill me.” I was lying on some kind of table with just a sheet over me. No clothes. I was, like, so embarrassed.

I looked around to see if maybe Joy Tomasino was nearby, like maybe we’d got together or something and I didn’t even remember it, but all I saw was dead people. Rows and rows of them. I screamed and jumped off the table, pulling the sheet around me.

I ran between two rows of corpses, straight into a full-length mirror. I found out later that the makeshift morgue used to be a clothing store. When I saw my reflection, I screamed even louder. I looked just like all those dead people. To tell the truth, seeing that reflection made me wish I was still dead.

NH: What’s life like for you now?

Tina: For the first couple of years, it totally sucked. When the plague hit, most kids my age were at school, so not many teens got zombified. The plague plowed through central Boston, killing all the humans in its way, and then mutated into something totally harmless. So unfair.

Me and Jenna didn’t have a lot of friends, and there wasn’t much for us to do besides sit around and eat stuff. The quarantine zone became Deadtown, and we aren’t allowed to leave it without a permit.

For a while, my parents would get a permit and take me home, usually on Sunday afternoons. But every time my mom looked at me, she’d start crying. And my little sister acted all scared, like she thought I was gonna eat her dumb brains or something. She’d lock herself in her room and wouldn’t even talk to me through the door. After a while, my parents didn’t come anymore, not even on Sundays. I guess I can understand that. They didn’t get their daughter back; they got a zombie. I still miss them, though. Sometimes.

But I’ve got friends now. Deadtown’s Council of Three finally got their act together and opened a school for zombie kids, so even though school pretty much sucks as usual, my life’s a little less boring.

And I made friends with Vicky, who’s teaching me how to kill demons. I’m her apprentice. That’s so cool, even though she’s making me read all these, like, really thick books before I can learn how to use her weapons. But if I learn all that stuff maybe I won’t get stuck doing manual labor like all the other zombies do. I was fifteen when I got zombified, and it’s like I got frozen at that age. I’ll never have to worry about getting old and weak and wrinkled. Just having a limb rot and fall off or something.

~end

Interview with Tina by Nancy Holzner
Based on character from Deadtown. © 2009. All rights reserved.

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by Nancy Holzner
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*** Zombie Book Giveaway courtesy of author ***

Deadtown
by Nancy Holzner
Open to all.

Offer ends: September 30, 2010

TO DO (2-parts):

1. Sign guestbook (if you haven't already).

2. Ask Tina a question.

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Contest has ended - winner is here

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=== September Zombies schedule of events
with links to posts and giveaways from the other Zombiettes===