Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Zombie News Flash: Interview with Tina

Incoming transmission...
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by Nancy Holzner
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Interview with Tina by Nancy Holzner

In celebration of Boston’s upcoming Paranormal Appreciation day, I’m talking to Tina Zawadzki, an 18-year-old zombie who lives in Deadtown, as part of the Paranormal News Network’s "Conversations with the Previously Deceased" series.

NH: When people think of zombies, they tend to think of the horror-movie kind. But you’re not like that. Can you explain the difference between Deadtown’s zombies and the usual stereotype?

Tina: Yeah, you know, I can’t even watch horror movies anymore. I look at the zombies and they’re, like, so wrong. I think, “Wow. That’s what people think I am.”

Okay, so we look kinda like those zombies. We’ve got gray-green skin—it’s really hard to find the right shade of foundation now—and our eyes are all bloodshot and there might be a little bit of rotting going on here and there.

Oh, and we’re really hungry all the time. But we can think and talk and we’re not just staggering around all the time going, “Braaaaains! Braaaaains!” That’s so stupid. I mean, eating brains would be, like, totally disgusting.

Yeah, I get hungry, but I scarf down potato chips or donuts or pizza or whatever. As much as I want, and I don’t gain an ounce. It’s the only thing that doesn’t suck about being reanimated.

When the plague hit, everybody thought we were dead. That lasted for three days before we rose again. Some scientist guy told me that we weren’t really dead during those three days, just in suspended animation or something, but whatever. We were just like dead.

And then we came back to life, but we were different. Stronger, stiffer, more awake at night, and (like I said) hungry. Vicky’s boyfriend Kane and the TV news stations and whatever use “previously deceased humans” to be politically correct. But really, we’re zombies. I mean, what else would you call people who were dead and came back to life?

NH: How did you get caught in the plague? What did it feel like? And what did it feel like to come back changed? Please say a little about your experiences.

Tina: Me and Jenna skipped school that day to go shopping. There was this dance coming up—we were sophomores in high school and it was a big deal—and Joey Tomasino had asked me if I was going, and I wanted to look, you know, hot. So we cut classes and headed into Boston to look for a dress.

We went to Downtown Crossing, and we were just walking along. I remember some businessman in front of me suddenly fell over. Like, just fell on his face, with his arm out to the side, still holding his briefcase. Then my legs felt all watery and everything went black.

When I woke up, my first thought was, “My parents are gonna kill me.” I was lying on some kind of table with just a sheet over me. No clothes. I was, like, so embarrassed.

I looked around to see if maybe Joy Tomasino was nearby, like maybe we’d got together or something and I didn’t even remember it, but all I saw was dead people. Rows and rows of them. I screamed and jumped off the table, pulling the sheet around me.

I ran between two rows of corpses, straight into a full-length mirror. I found out later that the makeshift morgue used to be a clothing store. When I saw my reflection, I screamed even louder. I looked just like all those dead people. To tell the truth, seeing that reflection made me wish I was still dead.

NH: What’s life like for you now?

Tina: For the first couple of years, it totally sucked. When the plague hit, most kids my age were at school, so not many teens got zombified. The plague plowed through central Boston, killing all the humans in its way, and then mutated into something totally harmless. So unfair.

Me and Jenna didn’t have a lot of friends, and there wasn’t much for us to do besides sit around and eat stuff. The quarantine zone became Deadtown, and we aren’t allowed to leave it without a permit.

For a while, my parents would get a permit and take me home, usually on Sunday afternoons. But every time my mom looked at me, she’d start crying. And my little sister acted all scared, like she thought I was gonna eat her dumb brains or something. She’d lock herself in her room and wouldn’t even talk to me through the door. After a while, my parents didn’t come anymore, not even on Sundays. I guess I can understand that. They didn’t get their daughter back; they got a zombie. I still miss them, though. Sometimes.

But I’ve got friends now. Deadtown’s Council of Three finally got their act together and opened a school for zombie kids, so even though school pretty much sucks as usual, my life’s a little less boring.

And I made friends with Vicky, who’s teaching me how to kill demons. I’m her apprentice. That’s so cool, even though she’s making me read all these, like, really thick books before I can learn how to use her weapons. But if I learn all that stuff maybe I won’t get stuck doing manual labor like all the other zombies do. I was fifteen when I got zombified, and it’s like I got frozen at that age. I’ll never have to worry about getting old and weak and wrinkled. Just having a limb rot and fall off or something.


Interview with Tina by Nancy Holzner
Based on character from Deadtown. © 2009. All rights reserved.

~-~-~-~-~ guest ~-~-~-~-~
by Nancy Holzner
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*** Zombie Book Giveaway courtesy of author ***

by Nancy Holzner

Open to all.

Offer ends: September 30, 2010

TO DO (2-parts):

1. Sign guestbook (if you haven't already).

2. Ask Tina a question.


Contest has ended - winner is here


=== September Zombies schedule of events
with links to posts and giveaways from the other Zombiettes===


  1. Tina, you don't eat brains, but what's your policy on pork? And are there any zombie-pigs where you live?

  2. Signed guestbook.

    My question is; Did you and Joey become an item and how long did it last? Was it worth what you went through in the end?

  3. When did you first realized Zombies were your "thing"?

  4. From Tina:

    Sorry I didn't get here earlier, guys. I've been helping Nancy write the outline for a new Deadtown novel. Personally, I think I need a *much* bigger role. I mean, yeah, Vicky's life is kinda exciting, killing demons and all, but she's also kinda press shy--she doesn't like to go on TV or anything. So I'm thinking that at the very least I can be, like, her spokeszombie or something.

    Anyway, thanks for stopping by and reading my interview. Too bad there wasn't video. But whatever.

    @Sullivan Pork is yummy, and hot dogs are a delicacy in Deadtown. We zombies can never get enough of 'em. Vicky always says that if she ever gives up exterminating demons, she'll open a hot dog stand in Deadtown and get rich. I was thinking about that as a career option, but I don't think my stock would last until lunchtime. :(

    @fredamans Me and Joey were an item, but not an *item* item, if you know what I mean. But I got zombified and he stayed human. And then? Well, whatever they say about star-crossed lovers and love conquering all and stuff turns out to be a bunch of crap. Take my word for it. Some things knock love flat on its ass and stomp on its head.

    @Carlos Well, for me, I didn't have much choice, thanks to the stupid plague. Nancy says that zombies are cool, but she gives Vicky all the good scenes. Vicky isn't a zombie, she's a shapeshifter whose line goes all the way back to some goddess in ancient Wales or something. She kills other people's personal demons for a living. I'm her apprentice. She makes me study hard, but she's OK. Most of the time.

  5. If this plague hit the Boston area, then why am I still unaffected?

  6. Have you always loved zombies or if not, when did you start?

  7. Hi Tina! If you could use only one weapon forever, which would it be and why?

  8. More from Tina:

    @Moridin Are you in Boston? I guess you weren't downtown at the wrong place and the wrong time like I was on the day the plague hit. Scientists say the virus was unstable and mutated to something no worse than a bad flu pretty fast. Some people think the plague was some kind of biological attack, but I don't know. I just know it sucked to be me that day.

    @elizabeth I played Resident Evil and snuck into a few R-rated horror movies, but I can't say I was big time into zombies until I became one. Then I didn't have much choice.

    @Lu Cool question! Vicky has this flaming sword that's really awesome. I kinda borrowed it once, but I couldn't make it burst into flames the way she does.

  9. I sure you will master it one day Tina!

  10. *shudders at the thought of hotdogs* I'm so going to stay away from Deadtown!!

  11. Does your new zombie school plan on having a prom?

  12. Killing demons sounds dangerous. So if you get hurt what happens? Is there a zombie doctor to patch you up or something?

  13. Tina, would it then be correct to assume that being a zombie has had a negative impact on your self-esteem? Does your school offer counseling services?

    Another Q: is it true that humans are the OTHER other white meat?

  14. Do you have a favorite zombie movie?? and what do you think about unicorns?

  15. Hi Tina!

    How worried are you about losing body parts?

  16. Tina: what's your least favorite thing about being a zombie?

    And what do you think is the worst prejudice people have about zombies?

  17. Tina, what kind of hobbies do you have?

  18. Tina, what do you think of wannabe zombies?

    giveawaymommy at

  19. about Sullivan's question on eating pork...have you ever tried pork blood? Here in Italy it is a delicacy!

  20. how do you stay looking fresh, or as fresh as possible for a previously deceased human?

    k_sunshine1977 at yahoo dot com

  21. Hi Tina, when's the first time you heard of zombies? What is your first impression of them? Green gooey creatures? Gorgeous angels? (Not likely...)

    You can reach me at

  22. Hi Tina, you mentioned in the interview "I’ll never have to worry about getting old and weak and wrinkled. Just having a limb rot and fall off or something." So if you lose a limb, will it ever grow back and if not, at what point would you stop your existence? When all your limbs fall off, or would you still be alive, just unable to move? Or another scenario would you have a Zombie doctor in Dead Town that could stitch you back together? Fighting Demons could lend yourself to losing some limbs and I worry about you -


  23. Hi Tina!
    Do you have any special zombie classes at school like "Vampires are out of fashion 101" or "How not to eat a human when you're hungry"??

    Signed guest book!

    anto_90_5 (at) hotmail (dot) com

  24. Hey Tina,
    Met any good looking Zombies guys that might be potential boyfriends?
    Ah, do you have to worry about pregnancies or STD's now?


    alterlisa AT yahoo DOT com

  25. Is there any reason to go on living if you no longer eat peanut butter and apricot jam sandwiches?

  26. How many of Vicky's books will you have to study before you're full trained?

  27. Hey Tina.

    So what exactly is your fave food now?
    I'm planning to invite you to dinner and I'd like to know :P
    And how about bad food? Does it affect your digestion?

    With my cooking I might kill you all over again! lol

    Kelly aka Yllektra
    Signed the guestbook //

  28. Other than limbs rotting and falling off, are zombies hard to kill? That would be handy in fighting demons! :)

    Re-posted your contest at:

    Thanks for the chance to win Deadtown!!

    Cherry Mischievous
    cherrymischif-warrior [at] yahoo [dot] com

  29. What's your favorite zombie music??


  30. So, if do you think I am safe all across the Atlantic or should I start packing for the war on the plague?

  31. If your book were made into a movie, who would you pick to play the main characters?

  32. Hi Tina, who or what is your source of inspiration? Do you play a part in selecting the cover of your book?

    aikychien at yahoo dot com

  33. Do they have malls in Deadtown? Where do you buy your clothes?

    I signed the guestbook.

    seriousreader at live dot com

  34. Signed the guestbook.

    Did you realise you liked zombies at a young age or later on your life?


  35. Signed the guest book.

    Hi Tina - is there anything you can do keep your limbs from falling off? Do you need to eat a special diet?


  36. If you could pick one favorite Zombie movie? Which one would you choose? I know, it's hard!


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