Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Zombie update from: Southern California

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by Titania of Fishmuffins of Doom
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When the zombie apocalypse arrived in Southern California, not a lot of people noticed. Honestly, there are so many Halloween events starting up around this time and people unafraid to go around in odd attire that the zombies were largely ignored and dismissed as jokes, costumes, or the destitute.

When the outbreak occurred, I was going with my friends to Knott’s Scary Farm. I love horror movies to death and I can stomach anything on film, but I can’t stand people jumping out at me or acting like they’re going to attack me. Anyway, Brett, DJ, and I are walking through a maze at the Halloween Haunt that was designed to look like a zombie outbreak. I was clutching to my boyfriend DJ with such a death grip he complained his arm was falling asleep. None of the scares faze him at all and he just laughs at me as I squeal and scream.

As we walk through the ruins of a bloodsoaked house, I am determined not to scream for just one scare, scanning the area to make sure nobody sneaks up on me. DJ grabs my arm and says boo in my ear, making me scream, of course. Then behind him, four zombies appear, moaning and shuffling our way. I roll my eyes and said, “You guys aren’t even scary. Aren’t you supposed to run and jump out of the shadows or something?”

They don’t respond and keep shuffling our way. Our friend Brett goes over to them to ask for picture. As a he gets closer he says, “Wow. These guys’ costumes are awesome! So authentic!” He pokes one in the shoulder and his finger squishes in grotesquely. Brett says, “Wow! The special effects are awesome! He even smells dead and rotting. Let’s take a picture.”

As the zombie leans in to take a bite out of his neck, I scream and DJ tackles him to safety. We scramble out of the house and run to the parking lot. Oddly enough, we don’t see any zombies on the way and very few humans.

We try to warn them away, but they just laugh at us and ran into another maze. We arrive at my car and scramble in. As we drive toward the exit onto La Palma Blvd., we are greeted with the sight of a zombie horde comprised of both park goers and people in costume with viscera exposed, limbs falling off, and bloodstained mouths.

The zombies slowly advance and I gas it right into the horde. There’s an oddly satisfying crunch as I run over some and others bounce off my hood. The windshield cracks, the fender crumples a little, and the front is covered in zombie goo, but we escape safely.

We go to my house for my Zombie Survival Guide, supplies, and bludgeoning weapons and we head off to Northern California. Hopefully the population will be sparser there and we can find a safe house there.

Traffic is light because the zombie plague isn’t widespread yet, but I expect the highways will be completely clogged when panic sets in. I don’t know if I will have internet access again, but I wish you all luck and hope you all survive this zombie apocalypse.


Guest post created for September Zombies event by Titania of Fishmuffins of Doom
© 2011. All rights reserved.

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by Titania of Fishmuffins of Doom
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NOW, head over to Fishmuffins of Doom for a zombie treat...

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