Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Nymph's Node: Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew



Today finds us back in The Nymph's Node, the shady and seedy tavern in town.

We take a seat on a moldy bench and raise a hand for some grog. And one for the old man sitting across from us. The gold coins in our pocket will be handed over later. If he can give us the whereabouts of these pirate gems...

Sea Witch series by Helen Hollick...

Sea Witch
by Helen Hollick


Pirate Code
by Helen Hollick


Bring it Close
by Helen Hollick


Ripples in the Sand
by Helen Hollick


Description for book 1 from the amazon:
Captain Jesemiah Jes, to his friends has been a pirate from the age of fifteen with only two loves, his ship Sea Witch and his freedom. His life is about to change, however, when he and his crewmates encounter Tiola Oldstagh an insignificant girl, or so they assume. Soon they will find out what she really is a white witch, bound to do good and fight evil. On the run from pirate hunters and his elder half brother, Jesamiah s only hope rests with Tiola and the crewmates to come to his rescue, and he must finally make a choice between his life as a pirate and his love for Tiola.

PeekAbook:



The old man scratches his head. He doesn't seem to know where to find this treasure.

Alas, our search continues, but for now let's sit back and listen to the tales of Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew...



Black Beard's Treasure
by Captain Dan and The Scurvy Crew

I was sippin' on rum down in Ol' Havana
Relaxing, just kicking it -- under the cabana
When this old man walks up, scurvy as can be
He taps me on the shoulder and he points to the sea

"Pardon me, sir. Are you the Captain Dan?"
"I'm a sailor no more, now I live on the land."
"Well this map I have points to perilous pleasure,
A long lost chest containing Blackbeard's treasure."

"You're the worst liar amongst the scurvy knaves!
That treasure's been swallowed by the ocean waves!
A storm took that dinghy and it's undertow..."
"Ah, Captain D, that is surely not so."

"Well then," I say, "What is your fee?
Or should I just kill you and take it for free?
Just give me that map, let me have a look."
"Unhand me at once you rotten crook!"

I'm a bilge rat, mateys, I'm a serious sailor
I don't need two hands just to rob from my neighbor
I'm hittin' you with rhymes like a nine-tailed cat,
We're off to see me dig where the treasure is at!

Blackbeard's gold is all that we see
We plunder and we steal from the old and the meek
Droppin' fat rhymes every day of the week
We're the only rap crew with buccaneer technique!

"Now this is a joke that doesn't make me laugh
You call this a map -- But where's the other half! ?
Give me a name, put me on the path!
Tell me right now or you'll be feelin' my wrath!"

"It's in the possession of the pirate Corsair,
He's gone to the Keys from the port of Lobear
His ship's been wounded and is headed for repair
If you set sail now you'll catch him unaware!"

So we find Corsair and his wounded galleon
"Strike your colors so we can board, you rapscallion!"
His flags go down 'cause he knows he's outgunned
So onto his ship and we begin with the fun.

"Give me the map!" I scream at Corsair
Put my gun to his nose and waved my hook in the air
"Never, you dog! That's enough with your gripe!"
So we tie him up in knots and make him walk the plank!

Blackbeard's gold is all that we see
We plunder and we steal from the old and the meek
Droppin' fat rhymes every day of the week
We're the only rap crew with buccaneer technique!

Before he goes over, a spark lights his eye
"I have the map here, I don't want to die!"
I take the map and review it with glee
And then push him overboard, out into the sea. (Agh! )

We plunder their booty and scuffle the ship
Who wants a galleon that's been beat by a whip?
The map was complete, who cares what we did
We set sail for the X where the treasure is hid.

Three days travel to the mouth of the cave
The sky is all dark and not a single wave
The waters only sailed by the dumb or the brave
In pursuit of the riches that we dared to crave

Blackbeard's chest, it was sitting right there!
A mountain of gold, in the open air
I was just so focused on what it'd be worth
I didn't notice a rumble rising under the earth.

I'm a bilge rat, mateys, I'm a serious sailor
I don't need two hands just to rob from my neighbor
I'm hittin' you with rhymes like a nine-tailed cat,
We're off to see me dig where the treasure is at!

What the hell is this! A dragon, blast!
Better call the mateys over here, really fast!
It went something like this: The dragon was pissed
And ate all my sailors in the flick of a wrist.

With a metallic crash, the PD10 appeared
I'm sorry, but the plot here it gets kinda weird
You see I drank so much rum since this story's begun
I forgot what happened at the end of the run

Oh yes, I remember! The dragon was slain!
The robot's lasers shot and splattered his brains
I took all the loot and shot back to my ship
Went back to Havana, and I chilled for a bit.

I'm a bilge rat, mateys, I'm a serious sailor
I don't need two hands just to rob from my neighbor
I'm hittin' you with rhymes like a nine-tailed cat,
We're off to see me dig where the treasure is at!

Blackbeard's gold is all that we see
We plunder and we steal from the old and the meek
Droppin' fat rhymes every day of the week
We're the only rap crew with buccaneer technique!


~*~

* image source Captain Dan and the Scurvy crew

* lyrics source

~-~~-~ ...and a bottle o'rum schedule ~-~~-~


4 comments:

  1. +JMJ+

    Yet another series I haven't heard of! How do I miss all these pirate-themed books when I'm browsing in bookstores?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Sea With books do look phenom!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Sea Witch series is on my want list! >_<

    ReplyDelete

 
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