Monday, October 11, 2010

Mish Mosh: Steampunk

M I S H - M O S H

a bit of steampunk...

In July, we left Jane, Jade and passengers in Brazil during SteamBoyz week.

To continue the steampunk story of Jane and Jade's Escapades, I have this latest write-up from the hubby.

~-~-~-~-~ guest ~-~-~-~-~
by kvb (the hubby)
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“The inshimera shenomina exceptionator auctioneering header is busted.” Jade reported to Jane one sunny Brazilian summer day.

Jane frowned.

Jade it was who invented this stuff. Jane had to allow that it was Jade’s right and privilege to name it. But what in the hell was inshimera whosiwhatsing head? “What does this incipient auctioneer’s head do?” asked Jane.

“You are the captain of this bucket. You ought to be aware of how it works in case I’m not there for you one day. Your ‘incipient auctioneer’s head’ is just one of the most important devices on this ship. It auctioneers inputs from detector tubes located around the bell. These detector tubes measure the departure from nucleate boiling on the exterior surface of the bell and input a pressure signal to the auctioneer which then automatically adjusts the exception valves which produce the micro bubbles which are applied to the inshimera which line the inside of the bell in a precisely varied geometric pattern called a shenomina. I spend more time trying to keep the ISEA header happy then any other task I have with the exception of standing around answering your questions. I’ve even named it ‘Jane’.”

Jane tsked and said “Very well dear sister. If you weren’t my sister, I’d throw you in the brig. Let’s go look at it.”

Jade had to laugh and exclaim “What brig?”

They went down to the ERUL and Jade led Jane over to the offending piece of equipment. Sure enough, it was a formidably complicated piece of equipment with weights and mercury levels and gyroscopes and wondrous little gears and chains and bi-metal thermal compensators and oh my!

John Harrison would have been proud. (John Harrison invented the chronometer which led to British dominance at sea and the expansion of the empire) There was a brass plate that labeled it.

Sure enough, at the top it said ‘ISEA Header’ in big letters, and below that it said ‘Inshimera Shenomina Exceptionator Auctioneering Header.’ Below that in the biggest, boldest letters of all it said ‘JANE.’

Jane looked at the header for a couple of seconds, and at the label plate for a couple more. She turned on her heel and stalked towards the ladder.

When she came to, she was stretched out on Jade’s cot over the tool chest. She had blood on her shirtwaist and when she felt on her scalp, she could feel a flap of scalp that moved freely. Jade was busy sewing it up and said nothing.

When she finished tying the stitch that she was working on when Jane came around, she dug the needle in for the next stitch. Jane felt a stab of pain and when she came around again, the shirtwaist was gone along with her trumpet skirt and all of her undergarments.

She was stark naked.

She didn’t react, choosing rather to take stock of her surroundings and try to ascertain what sort of dilemma she was in. Jade reappeared. She was stripping off her leather iron worker’s coveralls. They were wet and had some blood on them. She replaced them with another that hung near Jane’s head. Jane began wondering at the point of the change when she saw the condition of the replacement.

“You really need to watch your head when you are walking around here in engineering.” Jade said.

Apparently Jane had stalked right into a steel deck joist. “It took me over forty stitches to sew your scalp back on! And now I have blood all over my engine room! Not to mention that you bled all over my cot. But I’ve bled on that plenty myself, so it’s no big deal. And why were you harrumphing off like that? You should be proud that I named that infernal piece of equipment after you! The Bulla would be an inert piece of metal without it. It is the most complex thing here. Everything else is simple.

That header, however, is inscrutably complex. It is my pride and joy. It is my seminal achievement. I cannot imagine ever creating anything like it again. If we are ever attacked and overwhelmed, my final act will be to destroy that header. You too, must guard it with your life!”

Jane said nothing. She digested this information about her namesake. Up to now, she hadn’t known of its existence. Now it was the most important thing on the ship!

Jade disappeared down to the ERUL and Jane tried to get up. She barely lifted her head when the ERUL started to spin and she thought better of it. She instead let her head sink into Jade’s remarkably filthy and hard pillow and let healing sleep overcome her.

~-~-~-~-~ guest ~-~-~-~-~
by kvb (the hubby)
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story flash back -~- flash forward


Set your DVR tonight for...

Castle: Punked
A young mathematician is shot with a 200-year-old bullet, inspiring wild theories by Castle about a time-traveling murderer.

Check out the flashes of steampunk:


Join the Steampunk Book Challenge
at The Bookkeeper
or add to your steampunk book list with suggested titles


Check out Steampunk Month at
Mad Hatter's Bookshelf and Book Reviews


* image source Mechanical Angel I from the Strangeling

* hey, don't forget to signup to win a Strangeling print here

* part of Jane and Jade Escapades, my steampunk story in which commenters may be incorporated in the storyline and have guest appearances.

* my weekly post on things steampunk (Victorian sci-fi/fantasy)

* totally inspired by steampunk posts written by Celia of adventures of cecelia bedelia

-+0+o+ October Trix-n-Treatz schedule +o+0+-


  1. Ah Castle. I love Nathan Fillion.

  2. Hubby did a magnificent job!!! I like the ERUL idea, delightfully complicated steam-gadgetry ;D

  3. Ooooo I love me some Castle and I love steampunk stuff so I can not wait! *happy dance*

  4. You should be proud that I named that infernal piece of equipment after you!

    I love it!!

  5. I missed Jane and Jade's Escapades! Great post! :D
    I've never watched Castle, but maybe I should begin soon....


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